I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize