Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
