I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
