Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Semen is not good for contacts.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
