just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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