Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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