I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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