The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
