You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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