Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
