those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
