What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
