covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
