he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
