She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
