Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
false alarm, still single
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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