I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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