the condom got lost in my hair
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
