Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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