You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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