you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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