I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
