I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
