it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
