we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
