I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
