I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
