Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
