She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
