so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
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