i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
