Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I didn't notice because vodka
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
