She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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