did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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