If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
