did i walk over a car last night?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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