I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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