you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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