Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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