just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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