Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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