So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
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Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
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Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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