should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
