Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
