if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
