What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
