its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize