i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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