I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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