KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize