I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
