i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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