Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize