There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
