And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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