bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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