got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
