Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
