i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
