We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
