If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize