I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
