my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
