What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
