oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
