What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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