Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
