STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Houston, we have a blender
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
