she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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