i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
