she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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