Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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